Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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