my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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