apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
