Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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