you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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