There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
