maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
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