U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
