Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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