Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
