We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
A+ Viking dick
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
