No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize