Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
