i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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