But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
