Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize