My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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