I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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