Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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