To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
