u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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