best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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