the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
