you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
