I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
