So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize