I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
