Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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