I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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