Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
