you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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