The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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