What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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