Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
