my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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