ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
