After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
So many bounce houses so little time
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
