But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
