If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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