i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
