I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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