the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
