need another drink. this is the easiest way
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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