I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
