Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
