Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
