I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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