You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
