you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
