Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
