Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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