Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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