is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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