We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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