I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
