But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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