You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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