she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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