lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
