Sry I called you an 8
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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