At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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