i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
