She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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