Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
